thegnewthegnew

one more thing

thegnew — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:22:45 +0000

i weighed myself yesterday and it said 143 (154)! how exciting. it always renews my hope.

ramblings of an old minded person

thegnew — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:15:47 +0000

hmm. i worked out hard yesterday. i did 50 real push ups and 50 dips. rather impressive for a beginner! i think so anyway. im majorly feeling it today, though. my arms are sore, especially under the armpitt area! uugh. yep, boobs are the first to go. fine by me, they are making me slouch and hurt my back. makes me actually wonder how much each way. : / my one pair of pants that i can button are dirty. its time to wash them, so im wearing my boyfriends pants. they fit perectly. lol. another sign im not hapy about. im at work right now, i dont get off til 1:30pm (its 11:40 now) so i decided to do 50 lunges. this morning was very busy at work. i normally dont work mornings, but my boss is on vacation in michigan so im covering it. 5:30am -12pm. but today…its 1:30. i work at an ice rink, and the reason im up so early is people want to play hockey, and they dont have any other time to do it since they work. teens, kids, middle aged men, theyre all here. oh and of course girls too. i had to turn away a ton of people since we were packed, then i had to go out and walk around the ice to make sure no one snuck on. theres a little bit of excercise there….about an hour of walking. i used to play hockey. a good 5 years worth, im pretty good. i can handle my own. stop on a dime with my right foot, but i hurt my left ankle pretty bad and its mostly mental now. i dont have confidence really, to try and push it. im proud to say i can stop well on my left side. when i was walking around, i wanted to play hockey. i love skating so fast and being frustrated that the rink wasnt big enough to let my blades fly. haha. yeah. so why dont i play, you ask? because my job is to watch others and make sure they dont hurt themselves. and working at an ice rink, you need to get away from it. who wants to be at work all day? even when im not “at work” im still looked to for leadership when im out there, since everyone knows me. and if something goes wrong, i still have to do something about it. responsibility. : /i do miss hockey a lot. my coach always taught me, whatever you do, skate hard. even if you fall, get up as fast as you can and catch up. coming back to the line; skate hard. go after the puck; skate hard. defend; skate hard and dont give them a chance. so ive actually adopted that into my mindset. when i was in high school, id run the track and id run as fast as i could all the time. every step is one step closer to the finish line. naturaly, with that kind of ambition, i usually came up first. but, that was a long time ago. that was when i didnt have to sit at a desk for long hours and pay bills. ahhh the good ol years. lol. i know, im getting old right? im talking like an old person. im sure some of you that are reading this are laughing, since im not old at all! i know i know. but i do get aches when i wake up. my back does hurt (from my endowement haha). i cant sit on the ground anymore and expect to get up quickly. i think that will change, though, once i reach my goal! im pretty bummed about working til 1:30, since thats when i do my jog, but its ok. its just a time. i dont like change, though…. its rather inconvenient to me. lol. what am i saying, i need change or else il keep gaining weight! i mean to say my work schedule sucks and is making it difficult. it has been changing all over the place the past 2 weeks. 12:30-4:30…1-8pm…5:30-12 now 5:30-1:30? yeesh. tuesday it goes back to 12:30-4:30. then i really can get on with my work out! as for now, il just have to work out when i can since nothing is steady yet. wish me luck. (btw happy 4th of july everyone!)

sigh : /

thegnew — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:54:09 +0000

well, i actually weighed myself after i got done running and it said 144. mind you, i have to add 10 to the scale since its not correct. so im actually not 150, but 154. :’( i know. its just another speed bump i have to run over. but it woulda helped if i were 150 and not 154. 4 more pounds i have to lose. i cant stop sighing now. looking at my log, i realized i havent gaining many calories. i know it says something like 480, but thats because theres only one serving of everything. in reality, i had 3 bagels with crceam cheese. so that puts me up about 500 calories. so almost 1000 calories today. i am drinking this tea called diet lipton green tea with citrus. it has NO CALORIES in it whatsoever! it tastes awesome. they make a ton of different kinds. like, with lemon, or non diet kind. but this is def. the best. the only down side is that it literally goes straight through me. i am peeing within a half hour of drinking a full bottle, even if i went already just before i started drinking. and i know im urinating the tea, because its totally clear. i dunno whats up with that. do the manufacturers know this happens? well, if thats the price for no calories, its fine with me. unless its doing more harm than good that i dont know about. then im quitting it.

its also my second day starting this. i did a 30 min jog (i know thats not long but im already totally feeling the jog i did yesterday! how sad : /) and then i did 50 push ups and 50 arm dips. very good. im going to shower then read!

thegnew — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:03:49 +0000

well, i weighed a pretty normal weight of 130 in january 09. not bad, but considering i used to weigh 115 back in october, i kinda became weary but not too concerned. maybe hit the gym a few more days of the week. that didnt happen! if anything, i went to the gym less often. in fact, i stopped going all together. i know, i have myself to blame, but its so easy to make excuses. so now, after ripping a skirt (that tied by a drawstring for crying out loud!) and not even fitting into any of my jeans except for 1 pair (which gives me horrible marks from being so tight) and all my clothes saying L on them, ive had enough!! the absolute last straw was at my sisters wedding. you can suck in the stomach, but you cant suck in your ass or legs. that dress looked like it was being severely taxed by my thighs. i know im way overweight because im now too lazy to even suck it in anymore. im not in denial, ive been saying i need to lose weight since i noticed, but it seems everyone around me is in denial. it really does suck and it doesnt help at all when they tell me, “oh no, you look great! you look hot, blah blah” uh…have you seen my muffin top? my MUFFIN TOP! D:< good god. so i guess im on my own, then. good lord, i cant even wrap around my wrap around skirt! my sister is 25 and we used to have the same body, now im drastically larger than she is. shes a size 5 and im now 20 and im…a size 9. its very hard to say that im 20 years old, 5′3″ and i weigh 150 pounds. ok my mom doesnt even weigh that much. its very depressing to look at my sister in a bikini then look at myself, since we used to be the same. so ive had quite enough of myself. ive had enough of my complaining and getting over it by eating a lemon meringue pie. ive had enough of no one supporting me!! ive had enough of the excuses! this is happening whether i like it or not. whethere anyone else likes it or not. im going running everyday now, and after work, im going to the gym mon, wed, and fridays. before i know it, im going to be back to my old self, and il be confident again. being able to fit into my old clothes is a plus too. i wont have to go out and buy bigger sizes anymore