thegnew

well, i weighed a pretty normal weight of 130 in january 09. not bad, but considering i used to weigh 115 back in october, i kinda became weary but not too concerned. maybe hit the gym a few more days of the week. that didnt happen! if anything, i went to the gym less often. in fact, i stopped going all together. i know, i have myself to blame, but its so easy to make excuses. so now, after ripping a skirt (that tied by a drawstring for crying out loud!) and not even fitting into any of my jeans except for 1 pair (which gives me horrible marks from being so tight) and all my clothes saying L on them, ive had enough!! the absolute last straw was at my sisters wedding. you can suck in the stomach, but you cant suck in your ass or legs. that dress looked like it was being severely taxed by my thighs. i know im way overweight because im now too lazy to even suck it in anymore. im not in denial, ive been saying i need to lose weight since i noticed, but it seems everyone around me is in denial. it really does suck and it doesnt help at all when they tell me, “oh no, you look great! you look hot, blah blah” uh…have you seen my muffin top? my MUFFIN TOP! D:< good god. so i guess im on my own, then. good lord, i cant even wrap around my wrap around skirt! my sister is 25 and we used to have the same body, now im drastically larger than she is. shes a size 5 and im now 20 and im…a size 9. its very hard to say that im 20 years old, 5′3″ and i weigh 150 pounds. ok my mom doesnt even weigh that much. its very depressing to look at my sister in a bikini then look at myself, since we used to be the same. so ive had quite enough of myself. ive had enough of my complaining and getting over it by eating a lemon meringue pie. ive had enough of no one supporting me!! ive had enough of the excuses! this is happening whether i like it or not. whethere anyone else likes it or not. im going running everyday now, and after work, im going to the gym mon, wed, and fridays. before i know it, im going to be back to my old self, and il be confident again.  being able to fit into my old clothes is a plus too. i wont have to go out and buy bigger sizes anymore